Why would it be traumatizing for a sexually mature body to begin experimenting with sex? There is a lot of talk of emotional maturity and how it will impact the total well being of the child but isn't that because of society and in reality has absolutely nothing to do with age?
For hundreds of years teenagers were married and bearing children and it was considered normal. When an animal becomes sexually mature it start attempting to reproduce.
It is only societal constraints that make it inappropriate for a 13 year old boy to try and have sex. But wait, in the US that isn't considered too outside the realm of societal norm, in fact it is not only somewhat accepted it is practically expected. Why the double standard for females? Especially since it seems to be a commonally accepted edict that women mature emotionally faster than men.
The sexual taboos and constraints given to us by those we accept as our social dictators are causing great mental anxiety for the rest of the population that is following a natural instinct and being told that it is immoral. Sexuality isn't immoral. If sex were immoral then man would have gone extinct thousands of years ago.
What is the our fascination with drawing arbitrary lines in the sand and declaring right from wrong?
It's wrong to have sex- but only if you are "not an adult", whatever that means.
It's wrong to kill- unless the majority of the people think it's ok.
It's wrong to take drugs- unless it has a label and was perscribed by a doctor.
It's wrong to use 4 letter words- unless you are an adult.
It's wrong to drink alcohol- unless you are at church.
It's wrong to drink alcohol- unless it's a glass of wine at dinner.
It's wrong to drink alcohol- unless you are over 21.
It's wrong to steal- unless you have just "found" something that belongs to the disenfranchised (see native Americans).
It's wrong to lie- unless you are an actor.
Who made these rules? Why were they made? If it is wrong to kill, don't kill. If it is wrong to take drugs, then no drugs.
When it comes to sex, there is only 1 thing that is wrong. It is wrong to force someone to have sex, period. It doesn't matter if a person is 100, 50, 25, or 13, forcing someone to have sex is wrong. Maybe this is also a slippery slope, but then maybe not. If the person you are attempting to have sex with cannot agree or disagree to having sex, then you are forcing them. A 2 year old, cannot agree or disagree. A 3 year old, can usually talk and they aren't going to want to do what a 50 year old wants to do. If one must cajole, trick, or bribe, it's wrong. Other than that, who cares?!?!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Racism
Is it racism to generalize or stereotype a group of people based on one identifying factor such as race?
The automatical liberal PC answer seems to be yes. I have nothing against being liberal per se, or PC for that matter, but it seems that gains can be made by looking at a unit as a whole rather than individually.
Two things today inspired this train of thought.
First, I watched this older movie called Mindwalk. It was quite interesting; a movie about politics, science, the environment, and poetry all balled up into one. The movie discussed the necessity to steer away from looking at things as mechanical; stop thinking of things as the sum of the parts equals the whole. It discussed looking at things as systems, as interconnected groups and systems coexisting and codependant. This opened the oportunity to think of the whole as greater than the sum of parts.
Where does race fall into this discussion? Well, I drew on a more personal reflection with that. I'm dating a young black man. I've noticed traits in him that could be described as stereotypical, influenced by the culture in which he was brought up, a culture far different than mine. The culture he grew up in is as American as apple pie, no doubt, but something is different. Is it because of the color of his skin? This brings me to contemplate going to Africa.
And as I was thinking on that I reflected on my evil ethnic studies professor in college, and I smiled to myself. Random, to smile at someone who I'd call evil, and no so much in the sense of playfulness, but I actually do think that his teachings are negatively impacting thousands of students who although pay the tuition to college may not have the strength of mind and character to question and consider what he spews to students on a regular basis. My professor stated, in a class of 350 students, that the only racist person was a white person. He expounded, saying that all white people are racist, and that no person of any ethnicity could ever be racist. This is the same professor that tried to fire his white teacher's assistant because he didn't feel she was qualified to speak on ethnic studies due to the palor of her skin.
So I am going to Africa. I am going to be the minority "race" and I use the term in quotes because really, I don't like the term or the implications but yet how can I discuss the idea without using the term? I suppose there is a way but I am just not up to the task at the moment.
So in Africa, am I going to find things that I have grown up associating with black people and families? Will there be more commonalities between black Americans and black Africans than white Americans and black Africans? If there are, that would be a case of racism. The stereotypes would be specifically for a group of individuals based on their race.
For the most part I try and share my stereotypes evenly among those who I could offend. I do not limit stereotypes to race or creed. Now, what are my stereotypes? Are they good? Are they bad? What do I mean by stereotype?
For me a stereotype is a broad generalization that can easily be discounted but often times is not.
1. Black women are strong. They are emotionally strong women, they are very protective of their friends and family, fiercely independant, and often stubborn to a fault. This is my stereotype, is it bad to say?
2. Asians are studious. Ok, laugh at this. But although it may not be something inherent, it is something that is more valued in the household and Asian parents are quite adept, in general, at getting or guilting their kids into studying.
3. Chinese sounds angry. I blame Chinese Friend and her mom for this. The chinese films I watch are great and normal and all, but whenever I hear chinese in person it is one person yelling at the other and I have asked, they aren't mad when they talk.
4. Christians are the smartest people in the world. Ok that should bring down a reign of terror. Many things are at fault for this idea. Again, Chinese Friend said to me once that I was too smart to be a christian. Not that there aren't smart christians, and not that I don't like christians, most of my friends are christian, but most of them, not so smart. Let's go with the no evolution crowd. Maybe the whole AIDS is god's revenge against the gays. If AIDS were the revenge against gay people it wouldn't have killed my classmates older brother when he wasn't even 12 years old. The boy wasn't gay, he was a hemopheliac.
5. Women are bad drivers. Of course this totally doesn't apply to me, just don't look at my driving record.
6. Men are like dogs. Dogs are needy. And no matter how much a man is a "man" as soon as they get sick or hurt they moan and cry to a woman to take care of them. Of course this isn't done in front of other men so women have a hard time getting this out. Men are also somewhat trainable. Just as much as a dog is. There is a point at which a trained dog will turn and bite its owner though.
7. Women are like cats. They will asked to be pet and then scratch the hell out of you for no reason. They want attention if you are busy and want their space if you want to play.
That is all for my stereotypes. Are they really that bad? Every single one is easily discounted. You can even find more exceptions that the rule but still I go with it.
I've got more. For FOBs, jocks, baseball players, basketball players, New Yorkers, Californians, Mexicans, Canadians, but does that make me bad? Because I can look at a group and make a generalized statement should I consider myself a racist or a bad person? My generalities are more often against types of people rather than color of people, but even so, isn't that just as bad if it is bad? And I don't use my stereotyping to prejudge people. People are placed into the stereotype only after they have proven themselves part of it.
The automatical liberal PC answer seems to be yes. I have nothing against being liberal per se, or PC for that matter, but it seems that gains can be made by looking at a unit as a whole rather than individually.
Two things today inspired this train of thought.
First, I watched this older movie called Mindwalk. It was quite interesting; a movie about politics, science, the environment, and poetry all balled up into one. The movie discussed the necessity to steer away from looking at things as mechanical; stop thinking of things as the sum of the parts equals the whole. It discussed looking at things as systems, as interconnected groups and systems coexisting and codependant. This opened the oportunity to think of the whole as greater than the sum of parts.
Where does race fall into this discussion? Well, I drew on a more personal reflection with that. I'm dating a young black man. I've noticed traits in him that could be described as stereotypical, influenced by the culture in which he was brought up, a culture far different than mine. The culture he grew up in is as American as apple pie, no doubt, but something is different. Is it because of the color of his skin? This brings me to contemplate going to Africa.
And as I was thinking on that I reflected on my evil ethnic studies professor in college, and I smiled to myself. Random, to smile at someone who I'd call evil, and no so much in the sense of playfulness, but I actually do think that his teachings are negatively impacting thousands of students who although pay the tuition to college may not have the strength of mind and character to question and consider what he spews to students on a regular basis. My professor stated, in a class of 350 students, that the only racist person was a white person. He expounded, saying that all white people are racist, and that no person of any ethnicity could ever be racist. This is the same professor that tried to fire his white teacher's assistant because he didn't feel she was qualified to speak on ethnic studies due to the palor of her skin.
So I am going to Africa. I am going to be the minority "race" and I use the term in quotes because really, I don't like the term or the implications but yet how can I discuss the idea without using the term? I suppose there is a way but I am just not up to the task at the moment.
So in Africa, am I going to find things that I have grown up associating with black people and families? Will there be more commonalities between black Americans and black Africans than white Americans and black Africans? If there are, that would be a case of racism. The stereotypes would be specifically for a group of individuals based on their race.
For the most part I try and share my stereotypes evenly among those who I could offend. I do not limit stereotypes to race or creed. Now, what are my stereotypes? Are they good? Are they bad? What do I mean by stereotype?
For me a stereotype is a broad generalization that can easily be discounted but often times is not.
1. Black women are strong. They are emotionally strong women, they are very protective of their friends and family, fiercely independant, and often stubborn to a fault. This is my stereotype, is it bad to say?
2. Asians are studious. Ok, laugh at this. But although it may not be something inherent, it is something that is more valued in the household and Asian parents are quite adept, in general, at getting or guilting their kids into studying.
3. Chinese sounds angry. I blame Chinese Friend and her mom for this. The chinese films I watch are great and normal and all, but whenever I hear chinese in person it is one person yelling at the other and I have asked, they aren't mad when they talk.
4. Christians are the smartest people in the world. Ok that should bring down a reign of terror. Many things are at fault for this idea. Again, Chinese Friend said to me once that I was too smart to be a christian. Not that there aren't smart christians, and not that I don't like christians, most of my friends are christian, but most of them, not so smart. Let's go with the no evolution crowd. Maybe the whole AIDS is god's revenge against the gays. If AIDS were the revenge against gay people it wouldn't have killed my classmates older brother when he wasn't even 12 years old. The boy wasn't gay, he was a hemopheliac.
5. Women are bad drivers. Of course this totally doesn't apply to me, just don't look at my driving record.
6. Men are like dogs. Dogs are needy. And no matter how much a man is a "man" as soon as they get sick or hurt they moan and cry to a woman to take care of them. Of course this isn't done in front of other men so women have a hard time getting this out. Men are also somewhat trainable. Just as much as a dog is. There is a point at which a trained dog will turn and bite its owner though.
7. Women are like cats. They will asked to be pet and then scratch the hell out of you for no reason. They want attention if you are busy and want their space if you want to play.
That is all for my stereotypes. Are they really that bad? Every single one is easily discounted. You can even find more exceptions that the rule but still I go with it.
I've got more. For FOBs, jocks, baseball players, basketball players, New Yorkers, Californians, Mexicans, Canadians, but does that make me bad? Because I can look at a group and make a generalized statement should I consider myself a racist or a bad person? My generalities are more often against types of people rather than color of people, but even so, isn't that just as bad if it is bad? And I don't use my stereotyping to prejudge people. People are placed into the stereotype only after they have proven themselves part of it.
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